For all of my American friends, tomorrow is Thanksgiving... for my Canadian friends, I've already got our tree up, carols are playing, I'm enjoying the cool air, hot coffee, and basically hunkering down for winter. Winter in Montreal is cold, but winter in Montreal is magical. Nothing is as beautiful as a fresh layer of white snow... Nothing warms my heart like waking up to a blanket of pure white... then reality sets in, and you know you need to shovel, put on boots, warm clothes, upon warm clothes, fingers tingling with cold, and then you step outside and it takes your breath away, literally... and figuratively.Winter is a constant reminder of a fresh start, a beautiful redemption story, and new life. I love this time of year. Although Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year... I often find that this time of year ends up being a time of reflection, often sadness, unfulfilled expectations and rushing... rushing, rushing... 'till life's no fun...
I'm what my mother calls, that "creative type" my emotions go a little up and down, I am so much better than I used to be, but I still fall prey to a rollercoaster of emotions at this time of year... high, high, high, leading up to the 24th.... and often the 25th is low low low... something switches, did I miss something? Did something not happen that I needed to happen, why isn't it like I was when I was 5, that awesome feeling of complete joy? What's wrong with me?
What I've come to learn is that there is nothing wrong with me, I cannot go back to that childlike wonder of Christmas because of all of the adult like responsibilities and knowledge that fills my brain. But what I can do to guard my heart from unfulfilled expectations is write them down.
Last year was my first year of doing this, and it made so much sense when I started to feel low... I read over my expectations, and I had achieved every one of them, so what was there to be sad about? I had accomplished my goals, and the side of my brain that reasons things out, stated as clear as day- You've accomplished everything you set out to accomplish, therefore Christmas was a success... What are you wallowing about? and although it didn't eliminate all of the feelings, it helped me put things into perspective.
So I've included a "My Merry Christmas List", it isn't about writing physical things you want like gifts, (although you can definitely use it for that). Instead it is about writing a list of expectations that you'd like to achieve. A few examples of mine from last year, and will probably end up on this years list again are:
1. Spend time with my Hubby (Doing a puzzle, watching a Christmas Movie, having hot chocolate)
2. Spend Quality time with my Dad (Enjoy a conversation about life, share photos from the year, discuss our favourite memory of the year etc.)
Sometimes you have to have a plan about how you want to spend your time, and what to have a conversation about, or it will get swallowed up by noise, tv shows, and stupid stuff.
3. Spend time with my Mom (we are going to her house this year and I am so excited, my hope is to have: hot chocolate and conversations, do a puzzle, watch a christmas movie, sing some carols, enjoy the fireplace, relax)
4. Enjoy My Hubby's family, it is all about the kids, celebrate them~ enjoy their company, have an extra glass of wine, and just relax and laugh
5. Take a walk, enjoy the crunch of fresh snow under my feet
6. Take a nap
7. Chat's on the phone with my sister. Skype or FaceTime Christmas morning
8. Make bread
9. Big paper, Big markers, Big plans for 2016- Write out our yearly goals together- make plans to accomplish them. (this might be one of my favourite things to do with the hubby, it's all about dreaming, and planning for the entire year.. of course over the year things get eliminated, but things also get added- it is a fun process to do together!)
And the list goes on... it seems insignificant to write those things down, but when I go back over my list and I have accomplished all of those moments with the people that I love, I consider it a success... because it so often goes by in a whirlwind, and all of a sudden there is a crash... I'm practically in tears, and it's all over...
If you are anything like me, and love this time of year, but also know that when it's over, sometimes it is hard... try making a list of moments...
Last year this was my saving grace... as simple as that... no crashing, just wallowing in beautiful memories of moments that we had...
Share the love,
M.
Ps. I've also added a Merry Christmas Print at the bottom, plus a plethora of Facebook cover images in lots of colours :)
Have You Donated? All Donations go to Nurture Baby Home in Uganda to help with the care of Edrisa and all of the other Children, let's make sure to send some love and Christmas spirit to those little ones who need love.
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I love the idea of a list......and will definitely be using the one you provided! Here's to hoping it helps me deal a bit better with my grief during this time of year...Thank You!
ReplyDeleteI hope it helps :)
DeleteIt helped me so much last year that I can't imagine not doing it again <3
Merry Christmas!
M.