Saturday, March 10, 2018


This one is for anyone who feels they have not received their hearts desire, their biggest hope, there loftiest dream...

I know how that feels... it aches, and it just blows my mind how we can survive and sometimes thrive amidst so much pain.

If we don't speak about it, we weep about it... in aisle 7, at Walmart, sitting alone in the basement- air sucked out of our lungs like a punch to the gut, a memory is jogged and stops us dead in our tracks. Oh, I hear you hurt, I feel you pain, I know you ache, we've been here before...

Not every day is like this, not every moment is pain, but grief is never too far away, watching and waiting for that perfect moment to surface and immobilize me. It's hard, it hurts, it's crippling somedays, but it is part of who I am... and it has made me who I am... so I am grateful, I am broken, I hurt, I am frustrated, but I can look up and thank God for the blessings in my life, even amidst the pain...

This song was my anthem during our IVF treatments... and has continued to ring true... these words get me every time....

"Blessed be Your name, On the road marked with suffering,  Though there's pain in the offering -Blessed be Your name"
-Blessed Be Your Name Lyrics by Mark and Beth Redman 

Everyone has grief, and pain, no one gets out of this life unscathed, it is part of life, it's how we deal with it that matters...

How do you deal with your pain? your hurt? your ache?

Share the love,

(PS. I feel I need to share this, because I know I am not alone... and neither are you <3 )

Update: March 12, 2018

I keep thinking of deleting this post, because I feel vulnerable sharing this ... but I can't - because then I'm not being authentic... I keep wondering if this will have a negative impact on how people perceive me- but if it does, does that actually matter?

Being honest is hard, it's easier to put on a smile and say everything is alright- in the grand scheme of things, yes everything will be alright, but in the moments that i shared these thoughts, thing were not alright.

I know I am not alone in how I feel sometimes, I felt very alone when I was going through in vitro, I felt like everyone I knew -and their dogs- were getting pregnant, and no one was sharing anything other than good news...

What I found out later...

One of my friends had had 3 miscarriages... we could have been there for one another -had we been honest...

One friend kept saying they were waiting to get pregnant... but in all reality they were really trying hard and it wasn't happening...

One friend went through IVF, 1 unsuccessful, and then 1 successful (yay!)

I know why we don't share everything, that vulnerability, the thoughts that people's perception of us will change, we feel weak, sad, scared, and alone...

I don't want anyone to feel the feelings I felt, I don't want people to feel so alone when going through something...

So that is why this post will stay up, even though I feel vulnerable... even though every fibre of my being wants to take it down, and be that super stoic woman, who can manage everything with grace... I manage everything with snotty tears, in a heap on the kitchen floor sometimes... and if that ain't managing well, then I don't know what it... (ha!)

So here's to all of the men and women out there, who are just trying to make it through, and who will be honest enough with themselves to know that talking about what's really going on, actually makes us all stronger... it creates a community that cares...

Let's be that,

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LostBumblebee ©2018 MDBN personal use only, home decor, blessed be your name,
LostBumblebee ©2018 MDBN
personal use only

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Happy International Women's Day

Let's do what we need to do to raise, encourage, support, and love, strong, independent, intelligent, loving, kind, generous people, who will change the world.

We've got this,
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LostBumblebee © 2018 MDBN Free Printable, International Women's Day, Well behaved women seldom make history, free for personal use only,
LostBumblebee © 2018 MDBN Free Printable
International Women's Day
personal use only

Thursday, February 22, 2018


Home By Melissa Baker Nguyen 
After countless moves as a little girl, and a few more moves under my belt as an adult... I think I may have finally figured out what home actually means.

I've not so secretly been working on writing and illustrating a children's book about home. During our stay in Vietnam, we saw people come and go, we came and went, and well... when you pack up your life into 6 suitcases and move across the world, Home ends up having a different meaning.

This book is for the movers and shakers...  it's for anyone and everyone who has ever made a move, or is planning a move... it's for the Expat kids, children of Military men and women, your best friend... it's for everyone.

I hope you will order your copy and enjoy it ~ available on Amazon!

Can't wait to hear what you think about it!
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Thursday, February 8, 2018

Pretty Quiet- Update.

I've been pretty quiet on the blog... amidst all of the amazing excitement of getting my book ready for print- my proofs arrive end of February- not sure I can wait, but alas... waiting is one thing I do well... for a time ;)

We are in Transition... transitions are hard, but exciting... and we've been here before, my brain says... "you've got this... we know how it goes", and my heart says, "Oh my gooooodness- why????". 
We are transitioning back to Canada... like forever? for a time? where in Canada? Canada is a big place... I have no answers.  

Amidst the transition, I'm dealing with some serious grief... it's overwhelming, it sweeps up and catching me off guard, like heat in my body, then tears... it has to do with feeling unsettled, babies, and realising that 40 is coming, and well we all know what we've been told about 40- it's all down hill from here... nice society, nice.  

Even though I am following a dream to write and illustrate, I am grieving a dream to be a mom...

I cannot explain how it feels, some of you know these feelings, and some of you don't. No matter how hard I try, I won't be able to explain these feelings, because I can barely figure them out for myself.

Through all this stuff... the tears, the fears, the excitement, the transition... I'm learning patience... still trusting, and still waiting. 

I wonder if waiting is the name of the game. 

I wonder if what matters is during the waiting-  

What we do in the waiting may be what is most important... do we let the waiting dictate the doing, or do we continue living / thriving in the waiting... How do we make sure that our attitudes are good, how do we make sure that our heart are soft and not hard... how to we ward off disappointments... how to we stay calm, and peaceful, when anxiety and fear of the unknown want to take over?

I'm living in the waiting, creating, working, dreaming, and believing that all will work out, and all will be well...

These words were shared with me this week, from Sarah Young's devotional, Dear Jesus:

"Bring me your restless heart, and wait while I speak peace into its depths - stilling the troubled waters of your soul.”

From the verse, Mark 4:39 "... Peace be still..."

I hope that wherever you are in your life... this speaks to you,

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©2018 LostBumblebee MDBN Printable Bible Mark 4:39 Free Printable Personal Use Only
©2018 LostBumblebee MDBN
Bible Mark 4:39
Personal Use Only

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Word before World

We are currently in big transition, we moved home to take a job that didn't end up panning out, which threw our end game right out the window, and now we are dealing with a whole new playbook, and a lot of 'what ifs'...

Transition isn't easy. Ever. I've lived an entire life of transition. When I was little my parents planted churches, we moved around, across Canada and back again, and now it seems that my own personal life hasn't been much different, except, I'm not planting churches. I do however, hope that I am planting positivity, and generating hope everywhere I go. To be completely honest, I know I am not always positive, and not always full of hope. I try, and sometimes my brain is saying, "come on Missie, you've got this, this isn't an issue, we know what we are doing", and my emotions are having a full on, level 10 melt down in aisle 6 of Walmart. That is life.

Our transition has brought us to my Dad and his wife's house- both of whom I love very much... but it isn't really my home. I wake up to CNN, I go to bed to CNN... guys I for years have avoided sensationalized news, basically listening only to the hourly (and not every hour on the hour... maybe once a day)  on the CBC radio in Canada because I felt they were at least semi moderate and trustworthy.  If that isn't enough to tell you how much all of this sensationalized news affects me, I dreamt about the Trump administration shenanigans the other night. It has infiltrated my dreams, Oi.

I do think it is important to keep up on what is happening in the world, but in all seriousness... there is an entire world that things are happening too,  and we have no idea, it's hidden underneath all of the chaos, half the time we don't even hear about it.  Yes, stay up to date on news and events... but also, we need a measuring stick, we need a breather, we need a True North, and we need Truth.

This print will be on my night stand (as soon as I take it to print, and get a little frame for it) as a reminder... Missie... Word before World. I need the Word in you to be able to stay on course, I need the quiet to be able to hear, I need time to process... I need the Word. I need to read my bible, not just my devotion every day (My Utmost for His Highest- By Oswald Chambers (you can buy on Amazon here) is this year's devotional, and so far I am loving it).

So if you are like me, in a year of transition, and honestly who isn't?! Then this little print might just be what you need to see this year...

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LostBumblebee ©2018 MDBN Word before World, Free Printable, Personal Use Only, Donate to download,
LostBumblebee ©2018 MDBN Word before World, | Personal Use Only |  Donate to download
5x7 Horizontal

LostBumblebee ©2018 MDBN Word before World, Free Printable, Personal Use Only, Donate to download,
LostBumblebee ©2018 MDBN Word before World, | Personal Use Only |  Donate to download
8x10 Vertical


Thanks for stopping by and spending a little time getting to know a teeny tiny bit about me. I hope you're enjoying the free printables and the tidbits of inspiration along the way.

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