Monday, November 23, 2015

Big Dreams. Big Feels.

So many people are asking how I am doing being back. The people who are asking, know my heart, they knew what Living Life On Purpose 2015 meant to me... and now they are concerned about my heart.

Let me just share a little... Being back is hard. Not because I don't appreciate hot showers, running water, electricity that works 99.9% of the time, paved roads, fresh air, grocery stores that have basically everything anyone could ever possibly need... no being back is hard because I left part of my heart in Uganda. I feel a little incomplete. I feel that I need to be doing something, anything, yet, I'm not sure what... I'm fighting to hold on to memories, faces and names of children and people I met, and feelings I felt. Oh those feelings.

Honestly, I am at a loss for words, I try to explain to people, but I am not sure I can. Yesterday someone asked me at church how my heart was... and tears just spilled down my cheeks. I'm ok- I responded... I'm ok. But am I ok?

Yes, I am ok... I run through the list in my mind: Yes I am ok, Yes I want to do something, Yes we (you + me) are doing something, we are sponsoring Edrisa, and we will eventually sponsor more children. YES it is ok to be sad, to feel a pull, to want to do more... and yes it ok to take time to wallow in those feelings... No my heart will never be the same. Will I ever forget the feeling of little hands holding mine? nope.  Will I continue to dream big? YES. Will I dream dreams for myself and for the children? Yes. Will I survive? Yes...

So I guess what I'm really asking is:

How do you deal with feelings like this? What do you do that helps you process, manage, file, and feel all the feels there are to feel?  Christmas is coming and that in itself comes with loads of feelings, I am not sure I can handle all of the feels... my heart my explode this year... with happiness, sadness, and everything in between.

So let me encourage you today to dream big.  Do Big Dreams come with lots of feels- oh yes. Are they worth it? Oh yes...

Feel all the feels friends... and
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Ps. This print would look amazing HUGE, hung in a bedroom, or office, or studio. If you'd like ti sized for any size frame you have   >>click here<<   and I can do that for you!

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LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN : DREAM BIG : Donate to download : Printable : Personal Use Only.
LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN 4x6
LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN : DREAM BIG : Donate to download : Printable : Personal Use Only.
LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN : 5x7
LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN : DREAM BIG : Donate to download : Printable : Personal Use Only.
LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN : 8x10

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