Um...Ya, Meltdown.

I'm not even going to pretend that I didn't have a meltdown this year on Christmas Eve. I did. It was bad. It was a sad moment, when everything poured in and I entertained thoughts of "what if, and if only, and It should be"... Honestly, I know better.

I know myself, I know that I get caught up in crazy emotional turmoil around the holidays. I know this. I also know I have a plan, I have a Merry Christmas List, that I fill out yearly. But did I arm myself this year with the tools I need to not have a meltdown? No. I did not. Did I have a meltdown. Yes BIG time. Who is to blame? Me. Me and only me. I know myself, I have a yearly plan- I didn't follow through I own that. UGh.

I try to choose gratitude everyday and I manage, honestly, most days... the Holidays are hard. Even though it is my favourite time of the year, I manage to feel empty, lost, frustrated, and hurt. Maybe I ought to change my favourite holiday? But the reality is when I am feeling this way it is because of unfulfilled expectations, and this toxic phrase that plays over in my mind: "It isn't suppose to be this way". For a lot of things...

My parents aren't suppose to be divorced. Honestly being the adult child of divorced parents is hard yo. Hard.

We were suppose to have kids. We didn't y'all, It's hard to celebrate Christmas with family and their children. It's a reminder of what we don't have. (BUT -just let me get a grateful moment in here for a second because- seriously- IT IS SO nice to go home, and have a full night sleep, no sugar high kids waking us up at 5 am the next day- so yup, I do see that Silver lining I love so much).

I am not a great gift giver, I never think it's enough, I always go over budget, and I get mad about it, in the aftermath. (GRINCH anyone??)

But then on Christmas Eve we ordered a pizza and tipped the bill, because I was so grateful that they delivered pizza to a sobbing mess and washed it down with beer. (So NOT a Grinch?)

I feel pulled in a lot of different directions with feelings, I'm so grateful for the life I have... and I am so ungrateful because around the holidays it isn't what I thought it would be... how is one suppose to deal with this?

Oh right... I know, my Merry Christmas List... that is how I manage these feelings every year, THAT is how I make sure that the Christmas letdown is not a Missie Meltdown that takes days, weeks to recover from.

Next year, I am having a Christmas Eve Open house, come on by, have a drink, listen to some Christmas music, have some snacks, chat a little, enjoy putting together a puzzle with us... Just come by and be... be simple, be grateful, be together, just be... and just be ok. It'll be for me- not necessarily for anyone else, it'll be so I can get through without too much time to ponder the "what ifs, the why nots, the why us" moments.

I was a mess. I'm embarrassed to even say it, but in order to live my authentic life, I feel like I wanted to share it... because if I am feeling this, you might be too... and I want you to know you are not alone, you are not solo in the journey through the jungle of chaos at Christmas. I too am bushwhacking with the best of them... just trying to survive and hold on to some semblance of peace and gratitude.

I preach love, peace, gratitude... and guess what, most of the time I live it, sometimes I get caught up in that downward spiral... but what I know for sure is this is not permanent, this is only temporary, and in the grand scheme of things... Life is beautiful, hard, and beautiful. So I must continue to think on these things...

Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don’t ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 (CEV)

I hope your Christmas was meltdown free... full of joy, and peace, and love, and gratitude, and generosity...

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M.

LBG©2019 MDBN- Free Printable for Personal Use Only
Peace, Love, Joy, Gratitude

Find Joy.

If you are anything like me, you may find yourself dreaming of the way things were 'supposed' to be. 

Let me just put this out there, right up front, things are exactly as they are meant to be. Now, whether or not they are what you expected them to be, is a totally different story. Hopes and dreams are constantly dashed when people, things, events, don't live up to our expectations- but those are our expectations- What if we were willing to accept life as it comes (I'm not talking about being apathetic here) but what if we let people be themselves, events turn out as they may, and learn to live in the ebb and flow of a chaotic world, yet be filled with peace? 

Is this even possible? Can the world be falling apart, rather our expectations of what we think ought to be happening in the world, and can we still live in a peaceful state?

I'm going to wager a giant YES on that. I'm going to say that in my situation, AND I live in someone else's plan B of my life, I feel a sense of peace. Knowing that it is ok not to know, and not to be in control, and for me to find gratitude in the moment, and joy in the unexpected story I live...I say YES. 

We can live a life that was not our expectation and still be filled with peace, joy, gratitude. 

Now let's talk nitty gritty... because it totally SUCKS when things don't turn out the way you want them too, and when you wake up in a world that is beyond your control and you have to navigate the hurt, the shame, the unbelievable pain... healing doesn't happen over night. You can't will yourself into being filled with joy when you are at the bottom of a pit heaving just to breathe the pain is so thick... no you can't will yourself to be happy... and the "fake it t'ill you make it" just doesn't work... when tears leak out of you, and you seep pain... it is hard. It sucks. I can't tell you it doesn't. 

What I can tell you is that in time, lots and lots of time, things change... you never stop missing what you've lost, you never stop hurting when you think about it, but you can find peace with it, and in finding peace, you can find joy... I know for myself, joy started to seep in when I started focusing on the things in my life I had to be grateful for. Gratitude is a ribbon that runs through my life, it has changed my life, gratitude and time are healers. In time, gratitude breathes joy, and joy in life... creates an underlying bedrock of peace... not that weird happy all the time crap, but that deep seated peace that no matter what the situation, you know, that you know, you will survive... time will help heal, nothing stays the same forever, and you will grateful for the story you are living.

Everyone of us has a story that is filled with pain, if we were to compare our hurts, we would all one up each other... but what if we stopped comparing, started sharing, and helped other's see light at the end of the tunnel, because one thing I know is, there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope in the darkest night, and there is peace to be had... change your focus, be grateful, hold on to your hope, because... Joy is coming... There is Joy in the story you are living...hold on. Just hold on.

Two printables for you to choose from... take your pick for whichever you need :) 

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M.

 Our hope comes from God. May He fill you with joy and peace because of your trust in Him. Romans 15:13 NLV

On a technical note, I cannot respond to any comments that you leave... I'm so sorry, it's extremely frustrating, but I am in no way shape or form a techie- so alas it is how it will stay. If you want to reach out and share with me, please use the contact me button on the side of this page, and that will go directly to my blog email, and I will get it and respond. M.

LostBumblebee ©2019 MDBN Free Printable,
 Free for personal USE ONLY

LostBumblebee ©2019 MDBN Free Printable,
Free for personal USE ONLY

Yikes. Dinner Party?

A dinner party? What? who me? I'll go, but will I host... um... nope- Do you throw dinner parties? Does it give you stress? Knowing that we are to share our table and break bread with our community, that's what makes us community... how do you measure up? ha! I don't even register on the measuring tape for this one!

I've always enjoyed living just far enough away from friends and family that it took a phone call to say 'we are on our way over', which gave me at lest 20 minutes to get the house in "order".

If you have every felt any stress over the perfect table setting, a full course meal, and the rest of the hoopla- now is your time- Let freedom ring!  Val over at ZenShmen has a pretty awesome post that is encouraging and freeing... I know you will love it! Feel the freedom of The Crappy Dinner Party, and rejoice!

After reading her article, I was inspired- we are in the throws of moving to a new town, we will end up meeting new people, and at some point we will have them over- I'm going to implement a few of the techniques in Val's article to help me get over the hurtle of having to have everything just perfect- and instead, I'm going to enjoy the company leave my worries behind.

Below you'll find an encoring verse about breaking bread with glad and sincere hearts, with family and friends, in our homes... Val's article will inspire you to just do it...

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M.

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Pretty Quiet- Update.

I've been pretty quiet on the blog... amidst all of the amazing excitement of getting my book ready for print- my proofs arrive end of February- not sure I can wait, but alas... waiting is one thing I do well... for a time ;)


We are in Transition... transitions are hard, but exciting... and we've been here before, my brain says... "you've got this... we know how it goes", and my heart says, "Oh my gooooodness- why????". 
We are transitioning back to Canada... like forever? for a time? where in Canada? Canada is a big place... I have no answers.  

Amidst the transition, I'm dealing with some serious grief... it's overwhelming, it sweeps up and catching me off guard, like heat in my body, then tears... it has to do with feeling unsettled, babies, and realising that 40 is coming, and well we all know what we've been told about 40- it's all down hill from here... nice society, nice.  


Even though I am following a dream to write and illustrate, I am grieving a dream to be a mom...

I cannot explain how it feels, some of you know these feelings, and some of you don't. No matter how hard I try, I won't be able to explain these feelings, because I can barely figure them out for myself.

Through all this stuff... the tears, the fears, the excitement, the transition... I'm learning patience... still trusting, and still waiting. 

I wonder if waiting is the name of the game. 
I wonder if what matters is during the waiting-  

What we do in the waiting may be what is most important... do we let the waiting dictate the doing, or do we continue living / thriving in the waiting... How do we make sure that our attitudes are good, how do we make sure that our heart are soft and not hard... how to we ward off disappointments... how to we stay calm, and peaceful, when anxiety and fear of the unknown want to take over?

I'm living in the waiting, creating, working, dreaming, and believing that all will work out, and all will be well...

These words were shared with me this week, from Sarah Young's devotional, Dear Jesus:

"Bring me your restless heart, and wait while I speak peace into its depths - stilling the troubled waters of your soul.”

From the verse, Mark 4:39 "... Peace be still..."

I hope that wherever you are in your life... this speaks to you,
Share the love,
M.

©2018 LostBumblebee MDBN
Bible Mark 4:39
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Word before World

We are currently in big transition, we moved home to take a job that didn't end up panning out, which threw our end game right out the window, and now we are dealing with a whole new playbook, and a lot of 'what ifs'...

Transition isn't easy. Ever. I've lived an entire life of transition. When I was little my parents planted churches, we moved around, across Canada and back again, and now it seems that my own personal life hasn't been much different, except, I'm not planting churches. I do however, hope that I am planting positivity, and generating hope everywhere I go. To be completely honest, I know I am not always positive, and not always full of hope. I try, and sometimes my brain is saying, "come on Missie, you've got this, this isn't an issue, we know what we are doing", and my emotions are having a full on, level 10 melt down in aisle 6 of Walmart. That is life.

Our transition has brought us to my Dad and his wife's house- both of whom I love very much... but it isn't really my home. I wake up to CNN, I go to bed to CNN... guys I for years have avoided sensationalized news, basically listening only to the hourly (and not every hour on the hour... maybe once a day)  on the CBC radio in Canada because I felt they were at least semi moderate and trustworthy.  If that isn't enough to tell you how much all of this sensationalized news affects me, I dreamt about the Trump administration shenanigans the other night. It has infiltrated my dreams, Oi.

I do think it is important to keep up on what is happening in the world, but in all seriousness... there is an entire world that things are happening too,  and we have no idea, it's hidden underneath all of the chaos, half the time we don't even hear about it.  Yes, stay up to date on news and events... but also, we need a measuring stick, we need a breather, we need a True North, and we need Truth.

This print will be on my night stand (as soon as I take it to print, and get a little frame for it) as a reminder... Missie... Word before World. I need the Word in you to be able to stay on course, I need the quiet to be able to hear, I need time to process... I need the Word. I need to read my bible, not just my devotion every day (My Utmost for His Highest- By Oswald Chambers (you can buy on Amazon here) is this year's devotional, and so far I am loving it).

So if you are like me, in a year of transition, and honestly who isn't?! Then this little print might just be what you need to see this year...

Share the love,
M.

LostBumblebee ©2018 MDBN Word before World, | Personal Use Only |  Donate to download
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LostBumblebee ©2018 MDBN Word before World, | Personal Use Only |  Donate to download
www.lostbumblebee.net
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November?!

How did November sneak up on us so fast? How is it that Christmas is almost here? How is it that our time in Vietnam is coming to a close? How is it that I signed an illustrating contract for 3 books? (I cannot wait to share this with you guys!) How is it that I do not know what is coming and as the time draws closer... I am still breathing, standing in the hallway, waiting for a door to open? How is it that everything is going crazy fast, and I am experiencing under all of the crazy a calm sense of peace... 

...because my word for the year is Trust. Trust. So many ups and downs this year, emotional highs and lows... when I look back on 2017 it will be one for the books. But through all of this, Trust is my word. When you get the word Trust for the year... you know it will take all of the courage you can muster to trust. 

Throughout this year, there have been many opportunities for me to flex my trust muscles, and it usually looked a lot like me with tears streaming down my face, fists balled up, quietly whispering, "But why... I know I don't need to know... but why... can't You at some point just tell me....this isn't how it's suppose to go, this isn't what I want, I know You know best, but can I have an opinion?  I know Father, you know best, I know that... but can't we just... ok... I love you, and I trust you. "  

I am not the only person in the world whose life looks messy, whose ups and downs feel like the highest highs and the lowest lows... I know that some of you are out there trusting, hoping, praying... don't ever give up!  Continue on this journey of trusting Him. I know that throughout the entire journey of my life, His ways are better than mine... yet I still question. I'm doing that less now... but I still do. 

There is a country song, that has the line "oh I thank God, for unanswered prayers" as I look back on my life's journey, I can whisper those words unapologetically. I admit that I thank God for unanswered prayers, and I thank God that I can trust Him.

This verse has been a song in my heart this year...

Let me hear Your loving-kindness in the morning, for I trust in You. Teach me the way I should go for I lift up my soul to You.  

Psalm 143:8 

As this year comes to a close... this verse will be on my desktop, to remember... I trust Him... and I know He will show me where to go, which path to take, and I can have confidence in Him to know, He's got this... I can let go, and let God...

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M.

LostBumblebee ©2017 MDBN
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It's October!

It's October! You know what that means for Canadians? It's Thanksgiving time!

My American friends celebrate in November, but we Canadians celebrate in October. Some say it's because our harvest comes sooner, annnnnnd so does our winter...brrr. The first known Canadian Thanksgiving happened by the explorer Martin Frobisher in 1578 on the island now known as Newfoundland. Thankful for a safe journey across the treacherous Atlantic Ocean..

We celebrate now for many different reason, and we all have them. In our culture which is no longer agrarian for most people, we still take time to give thanks for our year, our health, our personal tidbits and favourites. Some celebrate the season merely because the Pumpkin Spice Latte hits the store, but I think it goes much deeper than that.

Gratitude in every day of our lives is required to live a fruitful life. We must take the time to stop and look around and show gratitude, speak gratitude, and live gratitude. In the world we live in today, it is so important. Waking up safe and warm is something to be thankful for. A hot cup of coffee, breakfast, running water- all worth celebrating and being filled with gratitude over. The simple things we take for granted, others don't have... the world we live in doesn't give those opportunities to all.

So in this month of Thanksgiving, let's give thanks for all of the things we are grateful for, our families, our friends, our experiences, our meals, our coffee, our dogs, our jobs, our lives... in everything give thanks.

Print of these reminders... and in everything... Give Thanks, live gratitude, and...
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M.

LostBumblebee ©2017 MDBN Give Thanks
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LostBumblebee ©2017 MDBN Give Thanks
Psalm 107:1
Free for Personal Use only

...And knows them all by name.

Do you ever feel like a tiny spec in a big wide world... Wondering if what you are doing even matters...

Guess what? It really does matter, who you are, that thing you do, it all really does matter. You matter. The day you were born the world changed. It changed forever. You being here has changed and altered the entire course of history and the future. YOU matter.

I am knee deep in the Psalms, and I can't seem to get enough... those little nuggets of gold... this little nugget of gold.

He counts the stars and He knows them by name... Do you know how many stars are out there? Do you know they all have a name? Do you know God knows their names, and even more so, He knows your name.

Yup Jenn, He knows your name. Sarah, He knows your name.  Stacy- He knows. Sandy- He knows you. Jessica He knows your name. Kyla, He knows your name. Chris, He knows your name. Terri, He knows your name. Jason He knows your name. Cybil, He knows your name. Anna, He knows your name. Ryanne, He knows your name. Starla, He knows your name. Roxanne, He knows your name. Van, He knows your name. Elizabeth, He knows your name. Jeanne, He knows your name. Marie, He knows your name. Bree, He knows your name, He knows you. Matt, He knows your name.

He knows Your name... you are not insignificant in this giant universe... He knows your name.

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M.

LostBumblebee ©2017 Psalm 147 He counts the stars and calls them all by name |
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Fear Fighting a Book Review.

Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to OVERCOME Your Fears

By Kelly Balarie

Fear is sneaky, once you let it in, it grows like a weed in your heart, suffocating ideas, hopes and dreams. Then it starts telling you, you aren’t good enough, you’re not like those people, you will never be part of the in crowd. Your skills aren’t good enough. Your art will never measure up, no one wants to hang your work in their home. Why would you even try? Shut up already. Seriously… 

Fear has a way of making us shrink back instead of shine, it has a way of making us feel insignificant, like it doesn’t matter, like we don’t matter. The crazy thing about fear is; it’s usually lying to us (I say usually because if you are standing on the ledge of a 27 story high building, with the wind whipping around your hair, you ought to be scared- that fear is real). The fear we are talking about is the one that likes to keep us so preoccupied with nonsense that it leaves no room for reason. Now, I like to think I’m a reasonable person. I can break down a situation to the lowest common denominator, even though once I’ve broken it down, the problem doesn’t necessarily disappear. Why is that? Because fear has it’s clammy little hands in every aspect of our lives. 

Fear Fighting by Kelly Balarie, is a book about just that, it’s a book about recognizing fear in our lives and refuting them with the truth. This book is scattered with scriptures, life affirming prayers, stories and testimonies, from the author’s own personal experiences. It’s pulled together a little bit like an old quilt that your gramma may have made. Materials, patterns, and threads that you recognise but have come to a new light in their new life as a quilt, a comforter. This book is a comforter and a guide to the ultimate Comforter, the Holy Spirit, leading us and guiding us gently to focus on Jesus. 

When I read through this book I immediately connected knowing that fear can gain a grip that is sometimes uncontrollable and hard to shake. I also know what the Bible says, if you are a reader of my blog, you know I have personally had to deal with some weird unshakable quirky fears -sharks in the bathtub?- anyone?

Kelly brought a concept to light I have never thought about, this concept of waiting versus abiding. When we are waiting for something, it’s like we have no job to do there is nothing we can be doing, we are just sitting, twiddling our thumbs and waiting- but the idea of abiding, abiding in Christ, abiding is “putting matters of God over matters assuaging our restless mind” (chapter 9). So abiding is a heart condition, it’s a condition that you trust God to do what He needs to do for you, and in that time you will cover your fears and your anxieties in his word. You will abide in Him as He works for you. I loved this… We have been waiting for along time to have children, this waiting when you feel like nothing is in your control and it is easier to get angry, easier to let fear take over, easier to ask the questions what if this never happens than it is to hope- Those easier things Allow lies to build and ultimately they become our life truths… we begin to believe them as truth. But Abiding in Him is giving God all of those fears, giving it all to God knowing that what he has is better than anything you could ever have imagined. Abiding in Him is active, it is an action you take, it’s making the choice every day to trust.

I really enjoyed this book, I loved that it brought up topics and issues that I deal with and it gave simple (because with God it is simple, and we tend to overcomplicate everything) realistic ways of working through fear. The biggest concept in this book is that fact that we need to give it all to God… What is the point of worrying about tomorrow, we have no control, so why do we try so hard to control it?

If you are having issues with fear, anxiety, control-  if fear has you constantly worried about what others think, your hubby getting bit by a snake in the pool, your children falling off cliffs 4 counties over so you won’t let them play outside… if fear has it’s grip on you, this book might just be the one you need to read to set yourself free and start truly living in the authority we have been given, to stop focusing inward and start focusing upward…


Share the love,
M.


Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc

LostBumblebee ©2017 Bible Verse: Perfect Love Casts Out Fear- 1 John 4:18
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Do Not Let Your Hearts Be Troubled

WHOA, seriously, this is so much easier said than done, I tend to worry about everything that is out of my control and nothing that is in my control. I like to think I'm pretty efficient, if I'm in charge it'll go just fine... me, Large and In Charge! Oh but when I'm not in charge... I sleep less, I get anxiety in my shoulders, my beautiful worry line between my eyes gets deeper, wrinkles are forming in all the wrong places- my Mom says if you stay calm, laugh and smile in life, all your wrinkles will end up in the right place when you get older. I'm not doing a very good job of that.

But wait, is it my job to worry? NO. It's my job to trust. Trust is my word for the year, I should have known that if trust was my word for the year- the year was going to require a lot of trust.

Yesterday we got some unsettling news about timing and taxes yay! wooot hoot- ain't that a peach. I expected not to sleep. I was expecting stress in my shoulders and a few crazy conversations with the hubby resulting in me freaking out. But you know what? I changed my thoughts, I put on some music, I settled in my heart-  this is not for me to worry about. I broke it down to figure out exactly what I ought to be worrying about and I realized- nothing. I had no part, I was just along for the ride and where ever the ride takes us, we will go. I slept like a baby- my heart had never been less troubled.

Now, generally I sleep well enough until about 5 am... Duy (my hubby) goes swimming in the mornings at 5. It is dark, the pool is not lit, there is no one around. I worry. I toss and turn from 5 to 5:45 or so,  until Duy waltzes back through the door, and then I relax.

Now what exactly do I worry about? I worry that there will be a poisonous snake in the water that will bite him, reality, our pool is on the 5th floor, we live in a concrete jungle, and there will be no snakes in the pool unless an eagle flies over and deposits his lunch in our pool just because.

I worry that Duy will hit his head on the side of the pool and drown, reality, Duy doesn't swim at the speed of a rushing torpedo, Duy is not blind, he wears goggles, and he can navigate the approach leading up to the pool wall.

I worry that he will get struck by lightening, reality, if he gets in the pool when it is raining at 5 am, lightening will be the least of our worries- I will kill him- joking! But guess what?  This morning, Duy sets off for the pool, I shout out my usual "I love you, Have fun, be safe" statement and then Zzzzz. Sound asleep, I woke up to him unlocking the front door.

I had slept, in perfect peace. God you've got this.

So I've come to learn that 99% of the time I am worrying about things that can't possibly even come true. My imagination has the ability to make situations larger than life. I know this. I can usually calm myself down, I can break the situation down into bite sized chunks of nonsense... and yet I still have the ability to convince myself that there is danger. Guys, we don't have children yet, I can only imagine how mom's worry.

Sharing all of these thoughts with my mother, as she tries to stifle her giggles because she knows me. She knows, I'm the child who had to get out of the bathtub RIGHT NOW (!), because I was about to be eaten by a shark. I can still feel my heart beating fast when I think about it. The shark in my tub? Oh it was the facecloth, at the faucet end of the tub bobbing up and down in the splashing-ya... I'm that child.

Yesterday I showed my mom this print, and her wise words were... "Practice what you preach kid..."  (she added an 'lol' and a cutesy heart).

So here I am practicing what I preach, I know, that I know, that I know I am not in control! Why is it so hard to get through my head, maybe I'm a little hard headed.  I'm hoping I can learn it sooner rather than later.  Until then, I will be making myself reminders and sharing them with you.

I will be letting the anxious thought cross my mind, then I will break it down, I will define my part in the worrying- which is usually nil, but I will still define it, then I will let it go, and let God. Because who am I to worry about the future?

(Matt 6:34, Prov. 3: 5-6, Phil 4:6-7&8, 1 Peter 5:7 , Luke 12:26)

Philippians 4:6-7  do not be anxious [worried] about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

1 Peter 5:7 casting all your anxieties [worries] on him, because he cares for you.

John 14:1 ...do not let your hearts be troubled...

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled [worried], neither let them be afraid.

Do you find you worry about things out of your control? Do you fret about unrealistic situations? Does your heart get troubled? You are not alone... Cast your cares on Him...

Share the love,
M.

LostBumblebee ©2017
Do not let your hearts be troubled John 14:1
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Tết Time, oh la la it's Spring!

Today is the first day of the Tết festival here in Vietnam, it is a first for us. It's Spring time!

Tết Nguyên Đán, which is Sino-Vietnamese for "Feast of the First Morning of the First Day". Tết celebrates the arrival of spring based on the Vietnamese calendar, which usually has the date falling in January or February. (Thanks wikipedia)

The great part of this New Year and Spring festival here is that I feel like I missed new year! I feel like I'm behind in all my personal new years traditions- But it's officially a New New Year on January 28th!

And with Tet is full swing here, and a New New Year for me, and Spring in the air, I wanted to share this New Year wish with you...

Share the love,
M.

LostBumblebee© 2017 Tet Spring blessing,
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Novembermas!

I'm so excited it is officially November ...  which means I can start listening to Christmas Carols and starting to get into the festive mood of the most amazing holiday we get to celebrate. I. Love. Christmas.  I love everything about it, I love the advent, I love the reason we celebrate, I love the festive spirit that people get into, I love that it is a time to give, I love that for a few days of the month people are kinder to one another, kinder to those they see on the streets, kinder to people serving them in stores, kinder to the dog... just plain kinder. Kindness abounds... and for good reason. We are celebrating the birth of Jesus. The revolutionary who claimed love is the only way. Whether you are a Christian or not, it is hard to refute that Jesus was an amazing revolutionary, who still has followers to this day, some 2000 years later, and that so much of what we do (whether we know it or not) comes from His teachings. It's kind of mind blowing.

So in celebrate His birth, or just His teachings of love and kindness, this is an awesome time of year...

If you don't know why we celebrate Christmas and the birth of Jesus,  you can read the Christmas story here at Why Christmas. 

These 3 cards are verses from the Bible all about Jesus and His birth... If these aren't up your alley- please don't fret, I've got lots and lots of Christmas cards full of cheer and holiday spirit that are not religious.  I'm happy to share and really Happy that you've chosen to celebrate and spread good cheer, kindness, goodness, peace, love, joy and holiday spirit with your friends and family during this special time of year!


Share the love,
M.

In Canada, we try really hard to wait until after the 11th of November to begin Celebrating the Holidays. I personally do not feel that Christmas in anyway takes away the specialness of Remembrance Day. I don't feel that celebrating Love, Kindness, Peace, and Joy can in anyway take away the sacrifices of the people who gave their lives so that we can be free to celebrate these things. So please don't shame people who start their celebrations early... please choose to spread love and kindness... instead of judgement.

LostBumblebee ©2016 MDBN
CHRISTMAS 2016 Isaiah 9:6
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CHRISTMAS 2016 Luke 2:11
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LostBumblebee ©2016 MDBN
CHRISTMAS 2016 Luke 2:14
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Do I actually need a Hashtag to do something?

Do I actually need a hashtag to do something? Do I need to be accountable to the entire internet to actually be doing something? Isn't this slightly counter productive, isn't what we do in the quiet of our own personal lives what matters, not just what we do when people can see us? hear us? watch us?

The Hashtag, #livinglifeonpurpse2015 leads me to ask; Am I still living life on purpose?  How can I make conscious to decisions to step outside of my comfort zone (my sweet little apartment) and go into the real (big, loud, scary, Vietnamese speaking) WORLD around me and serve... just to write this freaks me out, because I know I am being called to something here, and I can feel it coming- ha! Kinda like a freight train... and I know it will be awesome, but man will it take me WAY outta my comfort zone...

Who? What? When? Where? How? I have no idea, but the Why? because Jesus said Go + Love. So I've got one of six... that's a start.

Thought for the day, do you need a hashtag to go, love + serve?

What would you do if no one ever heard you, saw you, or knew anything that you were doing, would you still go, love, and serve?

Share the love,
M.

LostBumblebee ©2016 MDBN
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Beloved Mess... a book review.

Have you ever read a book that came to you at the perfect time, in the perfect moment, packaged perfectly to speak into your life? This is Beloved Mess for me. Just when I needed it most, I started reading it. Just when I was confronted with a situation in which I needed to show grace, I was in the middle of it. Just when I feel like a failure at giving grace... I read the final words, and grace floods over me... soaks me, and I just melt into it and know... that I am ok. All is ok.

I can't recommend this book enough, for everyone... everyone who ever felt they didn't measure up, for everyone who ever felt like somehow you were just not good enough, for anyone who ever thought that grace is great for others, but I just don't deserve it... for those covered in shame, hurt, heartache... this book is for you, this book is full of hope,  overflowing in love, and just absolutely dripping grace... from every page... it's ok to not measure up, none of us do, and we never will...

I have been blessed over the years to be able to read and review books, and I tell you the honest truth, I was never really that interested in sharing my thoughts about them. But this one, I can't say it enough or loud enough- you need to read it! I needed to read it. I need to reread it. I need to get it into my heart... it is a simple explanation of the most complicated yet most simple concept ever... grace... how did I miss this all these years?

I've created 2 prints to stand as reminders that you are His Beloved... His Beloved Mess... and you are just perfect in His eyes...

My official review... It doesn't even do justice to the impact this book has had on my heart...

Have you read this book?

Share the love,
M.

Beloved Mess: God's Perfect Love for Your Imperfect Life 

Kimm Crandall

Grace. What’s so awesome about Grace? How about the fact that we don’t deserve it, yet our entire lives are enrobed in it, dripping with it, and yet some of us still don’t see it.  Kimm’s book, Beloved Mess, is just what the doctor ordered, it’s the unveiling of this truth, this grace, it’s the peeling away the layers of the most mysterious, yet most simple concept ever. Grace. We don’t deserve it, we can never earn it, it is given to us because of Jesus. Period. 

This book is a small, yet powerful book, with chapters and questions that lead you into a discussion- either with others in a group, or with yourself. Answering the guided questions helps you come up with a personal understanding of just how amazing this grace is. 

Personally this book for me was an eye opener, it talked about what we think we know to be true, versus what is really true. 

Now, just because we have this knowledge, doesn’t mean -by any means- that it will all of a sudden be implemented in our lives. It will be a journey, maybe a journey that we suck at… but the amazing thing is this; the knowledge that we are all a mess, and we will never live up to the the Law, and there is nothing we can do to earn it… we are complete and utter mess-ups… and that is exactly why Christ came to die.  He wasn’t a mess-up. He is perfect, and when God looks down on us, He sees us enrobed in all of the love and goodness that is Jesus… and showers us  little mess-ups with His grace. We can’t get away from it, even if we try. We are soaked and slathered in it every moment of every day. No matter how far you try to get, how far you run, you cannot outrun the love and the grace that abounds towards you.

I read the digital version of this book, and I cannot wait to get a hard copy, the hubby and I are living abroad and so getting the physical book is a little difficult. But this is one book that I will be adding to my personal library, and sharing with my friends. It is a book that I feel everyone needs to read. I loved it, and I will be rereading it, and hopefully starting a book club so I can share it with others.

Beloved Mess unravels the beauty of this amazing grace that we so desperately need in our lives, that’s slathered over us daily, and yet we still don’t see it, or feel it… this book helps peel away the blinders we put on either by personal expectations and or the expectations of others. 

Read this book, get lost in the simplicity of grace, let it roll over you and flood every area of your life, swim in it, soak it up, and share it with others… 

Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.

LostBumblebee ©2016 MDBN
Beloved Zephaniah 3:17
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LostBumblebee ©2016 MDBN
Beloved Zephaniah 3:17
personal use only

15 Years.

Missie and Duy Vietnam 2016

I can't believe we've been married for 15 years. I remember when we first got married and we met a couple who had been married for 8 year and were just starting to talk about starting a family and I asked them... what do you do for 8 year with no kids? Well, low and behold, we got to find out.

I keep thinking to myself, what the heck have we been doing for the past 15 years with no kids? Well... living. Being grateful and full of gratitude for the crazy stuff we have done. It has been amazing! Now, don't get me wrong, it has also been stressful, overwhelmingly frustrating, and glorious all at the same time.

Do we fight, oh yes- like Ali and Fraser, or McGregor and Diaz... yes, we have our moments, and no they aren't easy... The best advice we got, and love to give to everyone, even if not solicited, because it was just that good... is this;

Will this matter in 25 years? if not, let it go... if so, touch gloves and have a clean fight. 

(I add the touch gloves and have a clean fight, because I am married to a warrior, an MMA loving man, which means I know way too much about the sport... I know, I know... I've let us all down ladies :)

So what have I learned in the past 15 years of marriage? you'd think my answer would be "a lot"... But actually I know a whole lot less now than I did when I had been married for a year. It's like my knowledge has gone backward - or at least now, I am smart enough to know that I don't know everything, or much of anything really. But what I do know, is that marriage isn't easy, it doesn't solve problems - it kinda creates more... But it is totally worth it.

So as an old married couple... I'll leave you other married couples with these words I shared on my Facebook page as a thank you to all the Anniversary wishes we got and as an encouragement to support your friends and family in their marriage and celebrate their milestones... and celebrate your own... you've worked to get where you are... don't forget that.

Birthdays are awesome, because the world changed the day you were born- But there is something different about an Anniversary. You are not guaranteed to arrive at it, they don't JUST happen, you have to work your tail off to make it WORK. 

You are no longer just celebrating a passing year or a simple accomplishment, but instead you are celebrating something you've fought for. So for me, our anniversary is so important.

Thanks for supporting us in our marriage, praying for us, and rooting for us. Marriage in the world we live in seems to come and go... I encourage you to support your married friends, encourage them, share your stories with them, and CELEBRATE their milestones... because they've fought to get there- and they are where they are because people like you value their marriage too. 

oh yes, and Love, Love, Love them, cause we all thought we had it figured out at year 1... 
<

So share in the celebration, share in the glory, share your stories and Share the love,

M. 

LostBumblebee ©2016 MDBN : Love Never Fails
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S

So 3

Seek and Find.

I've been taking a little hiatus lately, ok-I've been being lazy and blaming it on jet lag and culture shock. In all honesty, the jet lag is real, the culture shock, well, I've been married to my Vietnamese hubby for 15 years (!!!) this August, so culture shock might be pushing it.

But I'm ba-ack... I'm feeling good and inspired and excited. It might have helped that my momma and I had a conversation this morning that changed my whole perspective. I've been feeling some anxiety lately and not wanting to adult anymore. I guess you could say I've been, what my sister-in-law calls, entertaining thoughts of escapism. Escapism, which according to google is defined as:

es·cap·ism

əˈskāpˌizəm/

noun

1. the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.

   
   

   
   

   
   

   And I couldn't agree more. I've been dreaming of the simplicity of childhood, you know- when parents took care of everything and we little people had nothing to worry about. I actually mentioned it to my friends that I'd like to live in a world where unicorns existed (and I was serious). But that just isn't reality. So I guess I need to buck buttercup, pull my socks up, and get back to reality and back to work.  

   
   

   I was looking for an easy way out of circumstances beyond my control, and I know that way out, I know that I need to go to God with my issues, (if you've read my previous posts, apparently I'm not learning this lesson very quickly). I had to take a few moments and repent for wasting so much time trying to find solutions for circumstances completely out of my control- Instead of casting all of my cares on Him, instead of giving it all to God, I had been trying to find solutions. If you need some encouragement about how we are to deal with anxieties and fears, here's a few: Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7,  Matthew 11:28, Philippians 4:6-7,  John 16:33, Romans 8:28, Psalm 62:8, and there are so many more.

   
   

   How is it that I am back here again? How is it that this lesson, one I know the answer too, is one that I am continually struggling with?

   
   

   So this one is for me... Missie, seek and you'll find...  

   
   

   Are you looking for peace? Seek. Are you looking for Hope? Seek. Are you looking for answers? Seek. Stop trying to find a solution and seek God, He is the solution.

   
   

   Share the love, and happy seeking.

   M.