It has been a minute. So much has happened since I paused my life here on blogger, some good, some bad, *ahem covid*, and some just ... well just was- not everything is good or bad, sometimes it just is, what it is- that has been a good part of my break, it just is what it is.
I've always had a hard time stopping something that I felt mattered to people, I feel like my blog had it's place, and then I felt like my blog owned me. I felt constrained in the space of "having to write" never not once did anyone tell me I had to write this blog. Not once did anyone tell me they were disappointed that there was not a post today, not once was I made to feel badly from stepping away from this space, except by myself.
I feel like sometimes we hold ourselves hostage to things that do not bring us joy anymore, they have gone from something we love, to something that we have to love. And as you know, anything that is forced on us, we immediately dig in our heels and put up a wall. Or is that just me? (like honestly, sometimes I get in the shower, and because I literally just did this yesterday I rebel and I stand there, unwilling to wash my body, I'm here, but I am not washing- sometimes when I say things out loud, or write them I see the folly of my ways- but I'm STILL NOT WASHING ;)
Taking some time away to just live life, through probably the hardest 2 years of our lives on planet earth- Covid, and then to the year 2023, in which, I think, everyone believed was going to be the best year ever- because we are out in the light of life again- and then for me, 2023 has been a real, pardon my French- shitshow. It has not lived up to my expectations on so many levels, I have felt disappointed in the year so many times. Seriously how much disappointment can one year bring, well if it's 2023- lots.
BUT, I'm here to say, I have a month left, and I a not letting this year get the best of me. Being it's CHRISTMAS season all up in here- a season I love for many reasons, a seasons that is marked with craziness, and joy, and let down, and family stuff... it's still my favourite. (take a read HERE if you want to know a little about my Christmas seasons and what I like to do to get through them unscathed). I'm going out with a bang. I will be celebrating all of the goodness in my life!
I've been taking more time to just be aware of the wonderful that is around me, for instance, I'm sitting in my favourite chair, with my favourite dog, in front of my favourite fire place... so many magical things around me that bring me joy- I am not wasting this moment. I'm inhaling the beauty and comfort of it all.
I'm not wasting anymore time, I have 1.5 months to enjoy the rest of 2023, will there be let downs? of course, will have have disappointments? Yes... but will I wallow in the disappointment? nope.
I'm here, I'm choosing Joy, I'm choosing consistency (I'll share more about that in the next little while) I'm choosing to be happy, I'm choosing to make these moments count... even if it's just taking a moment to breathe in the fresh cold air of November and breathe out gratitude for being alive.
Care to join me?
Share the love,
M.
