I'm talking about breaking up with things in my life that no longer bring me peace, joy, creativity, hope, and are not pointing me in the direction I want to go.
I'm talking about the hard conversations with friends that you are in business with, working for, helping out, the "I don't want to do this anymore" conversations, the ones that weigh on your heart and mind, the ones that make it impossible to sleep because anxiety is crushing your chest... the ones you pray will be able to end, but not end a friendship. Those things... yup, the big things.
I hate to disappoint people, and I am such a cheerleader for my friends and their projects that I often feel like all of a sudden their projects become my projects and now I am running the show. I don't want to do that anymore, I do not want your personal projects to become mine. I have my own.
But... sometimes it happens... and then my projects get put on the back burner. My second book is just waiting to be illustrated... but I have been spread thin working and helping out others that I haven't even thought about my own project (except to say, now is not the time, I guess... because there is no time).
Now having said all of that does not mean I am no longer going to help my friends achieve their goals! are you kidding that is one of my greatest joys in life seeing my friends succeed and knowing that I got to help in some teeny tiny way.
I think I just need to get better at saying no. BIG No. I can say it for so many things, but when you need help, and I have the ability to help, I feel like I need to help. This. is. a. problem. This is my problem.
My goals are to get back to my creative work, my creative counselling, my blog, and my main goal with all of this is to bring awareness and support to Eagles Wings Children's Village as well as To Africa With Love Baby Home... my heart was left in Africa with these children, my goal is to point people towards getting away from thinking inwardly, and start thinking outward...
The shift in my mindset when I was working for the children, was incredible, there was a peace knowing I was doing the right thing, that I was working for something greater than coin in the bank, but that I was working so more children could eat, more children could go to school, and in some little way, their successes in life, their ability to live and be loved- I am part of that.
So I'm back baby. I'm back, I feel a renewed sense of commitment to myself, my creativity, my art, my being, my husband... I was floating in a sea that was 200 miles wide and 1 inch deep for a long time, being spread too thin to even think straight. Well things are changing, and I am so excited to see what God will do with me in these moments of time... where He will take me, take my art, and my heart.
So, yes, breaking up is hard to do, disappointing people is hard to do, it hurts me, and I hate it, but sometimes you've got to put the breaks on and stop doing everything and anything. You've got to make a commitment to yourself to work on the things important to your heart, because God put them there. Move forward and trust that He has a plan, and walk in that plan. He's got this, I don't need to worry, I just need to move forward...
Share the love,
M.
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