My Merry Christmas List.

For all of my American friends, tomorrow is Thanksgiving... for my Canadian friends, I've already got our tree up, carols are playing, I'm enjoying the cool air, hot coffee, and basically hunkering down for winter. Winter in Montreal is cold, but winter in Montreal is magical. Nothing is as beautiful as a fresh layer of white snow... Nothing warms my heart like waking up to a blanket of pure white... then reality sets in, and you know you need to shovel, put on boots, warm clothes, upon warm clothes, fingers tingling with cold, and then you step outside and it takes your breath away, literally... and figuratively.

Winter is a constant reminder of a fresh start, a beautiful redemption story, and new life. I love this time of year. Although Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year...  I often find that this time of year ends up being a time of reflection, often sadness, unfulfilled expectations and rushing... rushing, rushing... 'till life's no fun...

I'm what my mother calls, that "creative type" my emotions go a little up and down, I am so much better than I used to be, but I still fall prey to a rollercoaster of emotions at this time of year... high, high, high, leading up to the 24th.... and often the 25th is low low low... something switches, did I miss something? Did something not happen that I needed to happen, why isn't it like I was when I was 5, that awesome feeling of complete joy? What's wrong with me?

What I've come to learn is that there is nothing wrong with me, I cannot go back to that childlike wonder of Christmas because of all of the adult like responsibilities and knowledge that fills my brain. But what I can do to guard my heart from unfulfilled expectations is write them down.

Last year was my first year of doing this, and it made so much sense when I started to feel low... I read over my expectations, and I had achieved every one of them, so what was there to be sad about? I had accomplished my goals, and the side of my brain that reasons things out, stated as clear as day- You've accomplished everything you set out to accomplish, therefore Christmas was a success... What are you wallowing about? and although it didn't eliminate all of the feelings, it helped me put things into perspective.

So I've included a "My Merry Christmas List",  it isn't about writing physical things you want like gifts, (although you can definitely use it for that). Instead it is about writing a list of expectations that you'd like to achieve. A few examples of mine from last year, and will probably end up on this years list again are:

1. Spend time with my Hubby (Doing a puzzle, watching a Christmas Movie, having hot chocolate)
2. Spend Quality time with my Dad (Enjoy a conversation about life, share photos from the year, discuss our favourite memory of the year etc.)
Sometimes you have to have a plan about how you want to spend your time, and what to have a conversation about, or it will get swallowed up by noise, tv shows, and stupid stuff.
3. Spend time with my Mom (we are going to her house this year and I am so excited, my hope is to have: hot chocolate and conversations, do a puzzle, watch a christmas movie, sing some carols, enjoy the fireplace, relax)
4. Enjoy My Hubby's family,  it is all about the kids, celebrate them~ enjoy their company, have an extra glass of wine, and just relax and laugh
5. Take a walk, enjoy the crunch of fresh snow under my feet
6. Take a nap
7. Chat's on the phone with my sister. Skype or FaceTime Christmas morning
8. Make bread
9. Big paper, Big markers, Big plans for 2016- Write out our yearly goals together- make plans to accomplish them. (this might be one of my favourite things to do with the hubby, it's all about dreaming, and planning for the entire year.. of course over the year things get eliminated, but things also get added- it is a fun process to do together!)

And the list goes on... it seems insignificant to write those things down, but when I go back over my list and I have accomplished all of those moments with the people that I love, I consider it a success... because it so often goes by in a whirlwind, and all of a sudden there is a crash... I'm practically in tears, and it's all over...

If you are anything like me, and love this time of year, but also know that when it's over, sometimes it is hard... try making a list of moments...

Last year this was my saving grace... as simple as that... no crashing, just wallowing in beautiful memories of moments that we had...

Share the love,
M.

Ps. I've also added a Merry Christmas Print at the bottom, plus a plethora of Facebook cover images in lots of colours :)

Have You Donated? All Donations go to Nurture Baby Home in Uganda to help with the care of Edrisa and all of the other Children, let's make sure to send some love and Christmas spirit to those little ones who need love.

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MY MERRY CHRISTMAS LIST 

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Big Dreams. Big Feels.

So many people are asking how I am doing being back. The people who are asking, know my heart, they knew what Living Life On Purpose 2015 meant to me... and now they are concerned about my heart.

Let me just share a little... Being back is hard. Not because I don't appreciate hot showers, running water, electricity that works 99.9% of the time, paved roads, fresh air, grocery stores that have basically everything anyone could ever possibly need... no being back is hard because I left part of my heart in Uganda. I feel a little incomplete. I feel that I need to be doing something, anything, yet, I'm not sure what... I'm fighting to hold on to memories, faces and names of children and people I met, and feelings I felt. Oh those feelings.

Honestly, I am at a loss for words, I try to explain to people, but I am not sure I can. Yesterday someone asked me at church how my heart was... and tears just spilled down my cheeks. I'm ok- I responded... I'm ok. But am I ok?

Yes, I am ok... I run through the list in my mind: Yes I am ok, Yes I want to do something, Yes we (you + me) are doing something, we are sponsoring Edrisa, and we will eventually sponsor more children. YES it is ok to be sad, to feel a pull, to want to do more... and yes it ok to take time to wallow in those feelings... No my heart will never be the same. Will I ever forget the feeling of little hands holding mine? nope.  Will I continue to dream big? YES. Will I dream dreams for myself and for the children? Yes. Will I survive? Yes...

So I guess what I'm really asking is:

How do you deal with feelings like this? What do you do that helps you process, manage, file, and feel all the feels there are to feel?  Christmas is coming and that in itself comes with loads of feelings, I am not sure I can handle all of the feels... my heart my explode this year... with happiness, sadness, and everything in between.

So let me encourage you today to dream big.  Do Big Dreams come with lots of feels- oh yes. Are they worth it? Oh yes...

Feel all the feels friends... and
Share the love,
M.


Ps. This print would look amazing HUGE, hung in a bedroom, or office, or studio. If you'd like ti sized for any size frame you have   >>click here<<   and I can do that for you!

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Meet Edrisa!

Remember I had mentioned I was working on a little something something?... Well I was... and here goes... We (You + Me) are sponsoring a little Boy! The LostBumblebee Blog Community has been so generous with their support of our Living Life On Purpose 2015 goal, I wanted to give you the opportunity to continue living your life on purpose.

This Blog was originally created as a place of healing for me, and that is exactly what it has been. You know our struggles with fertility, you know my heart, you know me, you know our goal this entire year has been to live our lives on purpose. Live outside of ourselves, beyond our borders, to give, to love, to heal... And you are part of that journey. And now I want to introduce you to a little someone...

His name is Edrisa.
He was born in May 2013.
His mom left to get doughnuts and never came back.
He was severely anemic when found.
He was almost dead.
He was rescued.
He needed blood.
He healed.
He is hilarious.
He is a ham.
He is kind.
He has a sister.
He is no longer alone.
We are his new family.
We will support him.
We are living our lives on purpose.

From now on, all of our $1 Donate to download will be going toward supporting him, and eventually I would like to be able to support more than just Edrisa. I want our Blog Community to be about giving, Living Life on Purpose and living it out loud. Sharing our love with those around us, and giving beyond ourselves. Together we will make a difference. Can we change the world? maybe not, but we can change Edrisa's world.

I met Edrisa early in October, he would stand at my feet and swirl in my skirt. Finally one day he just held his arms up and basically said, 'lady you need to pick me up'. And every since that first day of picking him up, every time I was at the Baby Home, Edrisa was in my arms, he would search me out, find me, arms up, 'UP!'. He healed a place in my heart that was hurt and not open, he made a bigger difference in my life, than I ever could in his.

I've left a huge part of my heart in Uganda. Being home has been hard, not because I am unhappy, but because I miss my new Ugandan family. Because the needs I saw there are so vast and hard to even comprehend- let alone share with others...  All I can do is pray, share love, try and share my story, and live my life on purpose...

Join me in living life on purpose and changing one little boy's world.
Share the love,
M.

If you would like to contribute to this cause, kindly donate $1 per download, I wanted to make it easy to everyone would take part- If you'd like to 'adopt' your own little person, please visit Nurture Baby Home's Website and start your support as soon as you can. Together we can truly make a difference!

Here are some photos so you can print them and put them on your fridge, pray for Edrisa and all of the children at Nurture Baby Home in Masaka Uganda.

Ps. Scroll down for a beautiful JOY Printable that can be printed, framed, or have it printed for your Christmas card!

LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN
Living Life On Purpose 2015
Nurture Baby Home Print: 4x6

LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN
Living Life On Purpose 2015
Nurture Baby Home Print: 4x6

LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN
Living Life On Purpose 2015
Nurture Baby Home Print: 4x6

EDRISA THE HAM!
LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN
Living Life On Purpose 2015
Nurture Baby Home Print: 4x6

LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN
Living Life On Purpose 2015
Nurture Baby Home Print: 4x6

LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN
Living Life On Purpose 2015
Nurture Baby Home Print: 5x7

LostBumblebee ©2015 MDBN
Living Life On Purpose 2015
Nurture Baby Home Print: 4x6

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Christmas JOY! 4x6

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Christmas JOY! 8x10

Noël!

Another Noël print, because I love Christmas :) and Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.

I'm working on a really exciting project for the blog here, it's all about love and sharing and showing we care. I cannot wait to share it with you... I hope that you will get behind me in this crazy step of faith that this blog is about to take with you all - of course. 

Share the love,

M.

Simple black and white incase you are into foiling :)

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Merry & Bright!

Today is the day! I made it past Remembrance day without putting up my tree, not because I didn't want too, and not because I made myself wait, but because after being gone for 5 weeks, all of a sudden everyone realized I was back!  I had the most amazing opportunity to work on a cd cover for a Quebec singer who is just finishing up an instrumental lullaby cd, the proceeds will help them finance the adoption of their 4th child... who is out there waiting for them somewhere. It makes my heart so happy to be able to be part of this grand undertaking in a small way.

So Merry and BRIGHT it shall be today, the Christmas music will be out in full volume,  I will covered in sparkles, the floor will be a mess and it will be heavenly.  If you look outside today, November is a grey month here in Quebec... An author once described the colour of the winter sky in Montreal like that of an unlit or burnt out lightbulb. I've never tried to explain any other way after that, because that perfectly describes the colour.

I have a garden full of kale that needs to be harvested,  a mountain of design work I need to finish, phone calls to return, a nap to take (we have youth tonight and it goes late, and apparently I'm too old and still jet lagged to stay up past 9pm) But... Merry+Bright it shall be... and I will nap to the sounds of Christmas, with love, peace and joy wafting through my home... and it will be perfect. Perfect.

And as you know, "well laid plans of mice and men often go astray".... we shall see! we shall see!

Share the love,
M.

This print is a sneak peek of my Rustic Advent Calendar that can be downloaded via my ETSY shop... Click here:  25 CHRISTMAS CHEER RUSTIC ADVENT CALENDAR 

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This year... GIVE HOPE!

Our year here at LostBumblebee Graphics was all about Living Life On Purpose. It was about going above and beyond ourselves, looking outward instead of looking inward and choosing to be purposeful in all that we do. It has been incredible. I believe that we are different people because of this journey.

We want to give you all the opportunity to continue Living Life On Purpose 2015 with us, right up until the end of the year. This year, let's Give Hope!

What we found out was that the $35 a day we donate through charities to save lives- actually saves lives. It was the most eye opening revelation I had. It seems so simple and duh! of course it does... but guys, it actually does!

So In light of saving lives and giving hope, I wanted to share with you two of the places that we worked with and fell in love with along our journey. These people are saving lives on a daily bases- trouble is sometimes we forget that there are lives out there needing some saving... children who don't have a meal during the day, parents abandoning their children because they have no food to feed them with... This year, let's give hope to a child!  Let's get outside of ourselves and Live Our Lives On Purpose.... right up until the end!

EAGLES WINGS CHILDREN'S VILLAGE:

This Village consist of 72 orphans in 3 family units as well as over 200 students from the local villages. These students are from the poorest of the poor... at Eagles Wings they are fed breakfast and lunch, are given school uniforms and books all because people like you and me- Let's GIVE HOPE!

TO AFRICA WITH LOVE : NURTURE BABY HOME:

Nurture Baby Home is home to more than 35 babies and 7 school aged children. Talk about Formula, formula, formula. The underlying story in the lives of these babies is abandonment. They've been left- alone, but thanks to 

Fay and her staff at Nurture Baby Home, no is never the answer when the phone rings and there is a Baby needing love, food and shelter because of people like you and me-  Let's Give HOPE! 

So please take a minute to check out these pages, scroll down and donate... This year... 

Let's Give Hope + SHARE THE LOVE,

M.

Eagles Wings Children's Village

Nurture Baby Home

We Wish You...

Oh Tra- la- la... we arrived home last week from our five week journey to Uganda- I thought I'd be excited about fall, and then it hit me, it is November! Here in Canada our Thanksgiving is in October, so November is fair game for all things Christmas, sort of -with one exception...

We celebrate Remembrance Day on November 11- and I take that very seriously. Freedom isn't free and we need to respect and celebrate those who fought for Freedom, and those who fight for our freedom even now.

Somehow this year, I am having a hard time waiting... I want to decorate now, I mean yesterday... and I almost did... I'm not sure I will make it through today without putting my tree up. We are most likely going to be away over the holidays and I want to spend as much time lollygagging in the Christmas spirit and the miracle of this magical time of year. It doesn't last long enough for me... Christmas is so special. I cannot wait for the first snow fall that cleanses the world in a blanket of white... it's such a beautiful reminder of forgiveness.

If I put my tree up early will I still be honouring our Veterans, Yes! Do I still I respect them, Yes! I live the life I live because of the sacrifices of many... we are so blessed here in Canada and elsewhere in the world... so please do remember our veterans, and if you put your Christmas music on early, or put your Christmas tree up... be kind to yourself, and your neighbours... and me, and remember that just because Christmas decorations are up, Christmas music is playing... The honour and respect I have for those who fought for my freedom, does not diminish in the glimmer of the miracle of Christmas~ it is actually brought front and centre into a greater light of what real sacrifice actually means... so Happy Remembrance Day & Merry Christmas!


Share the love,
M.

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Joyeux Noël

Something wonderful this way comes! Oh yes... it is coming - I love Christmas... It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Joyeux Noël!

Share the love,

M.

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Actions.

my happy laugh cry

We are back and I am processing and jet lagging... all of the things we saw, smelled, felt, held, ate... it might take me a little while, but I did want to share this...

The second Wednesday we were in Masaka, we had the opportunity to spend the day with Fay. She runs a baby home called Nurture Baby Home. It was an awesome day, we had the privilege to tag along with her when she got the call that there was an abandoned 11 year old girl at the hospital, who had been there a week, and who needed someone, well we ended up being that someone. Her name is Namuli, she is 11, she is disabled. We didn't know if she spoke, communicated, walked- we had no idea... but what we did know, is the answer was yes. Because this was the opportunity put in front of us, and when God sends an opportunity we say yes. (Every day I thank God for people like Fay... they are the world changers and earth shakers- what they are doing makes a difference.)

We found Namuli asleep curled up in a little ball... she was very small. She fit into a size 4 clothes (a 4 is about what a 4 year old wears... not an 11 year old...) She was surrounded by people, lots of people, these people where there at the hospital taking care of relatives, siblings, children, parents... the smell of ammonia hung heavy in the corridor, urine so strong I could barely handle it... and in amongst all of these people, smells, and sounds there she was... laying there, not making any noise, frail and small... I held back tears... my heart broke... my head couldn't understand... how does this happen? But it wasn't my place to figure our how it can happen, it was my place to figure out how to help... I didn't know what to do, so I said yes to everything I was asked...

Namuli ended up in the Baby home, I went to visit her often, sat with her, touched her hand, rubbed her head... just loved on her... she made no eye contact, no physical touch response... I called her by name... nothing. Then the last Sunday before we left, we went back to check on everyone and say bye for now. I went in to see Namuli, she smiled when she heard my voice... I choked back tears and started that half laugh half cry thing I do... She looked at me, made eye contact... then the flood gates opened up- there was no stopping those tears of joy.

This print is inspired by someone whose actions speak louder than words ever could...  In all of this, my prayer is that my actions speak louder than my words... that I will be a woman of action- I don't just want to talk about it...

Share the love,
M.

love

taking a moment to thank God

Holding hands with Namuli 

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